Trash

I've been learning to do magic with garbage. My room is seriously untidy. I recently just pulled my bed away from the wall in order to change the sheets and found thousands or loose playing cards that I have dropped there over the years. There was also a damp pair of socks that I now vaguely recall I threw there a month ago after it rained. The layers of paper on my desk are like the layers of strata in rock or soil that palaeontologists use to date fossils. I recently found an black apple core buried under an assignment sheet dated to 2011. Magicians often do magic with balls and I have an strangely huge collection of them which I never use but still am very anxious about losing; rubber bouncy ones, golf balls, tennis balls, lacross balls, sponge balls and juggling balls. I used to do a trick where I would vomit out dozens of balls, and I would do it maybe a dozen times a day when I went busking. There is no trick to it, I just have a huge mouth. I'm not sure if I ever washed them afterwards. My act contains many deceptions and one is how clean I appear to be. The bags that I always carry with me when I do my magic show are full of rubbish like popped balloons, shredded notepaper, scrunched toilet paper, scrunched pieces of duct tape, loose playing cards and table salt, all things that I use in my show. I live in fear of the day that I will eventually trip and accidentally knock over my bag while it is open during a performance, exposing me as the shameful filthy fraud that I am.
I used to do a trick with a carrot. I would secretly pin an elastic hair band behind my back under my vest and twist it around the vegetable to hold it in position. At the end of my golf ball vomiting routine I would discretely steal the carrot from my vest into my hand and then as I bent over to place the balls in my bag I would put the vegetable in my mouth. As I stood back up, it would seem as though it appeared in my mouth. Sometimes after I had finished work I would forget that I had pinned it there. I would take off my vest and walk home with the carrot hanging on my back for no apparent reason. I've always wondered what the strangers who saw me walk past thought of me. At the time there was also a large number of carrot stubs floating around in my backpack.